Python tales

Elvish: Mom can we get a lizard ?
Mom : No
Elvish: How about a Guinea pig?
Mom :No 
Elvish : I guess a snake is out of question then?
Mom: You got wise.That's right
Elvish :Yes I read that a python measures you so he can swallow you. So I didn't think having one is a good idea.
Mom : Yes , somethings in nature should be just where they should be
Elvish :Unless...unless you are fat , ofcourse the python can size you up all he wants , he can't swallow you!

This is just for me have that lingering uncomfortable thought in my head that he might just keep harping this another time .

Honor Roll is no fun

Following a whiny conversation to get an extra worksheet done
Mom : Son , your sister isn't complaining and she hasn't even watched any television since she got back 
Elvish : Mom,she likes being academic
Mom: I guess that rules out honor roll for you in junior high then
Elvish : No !I will be in honor roll,I just won't enjoy it very much

Munna BHai

Spring break and nothing to do tomorrow
Mom:May be I can recommend one of my fav Bollywood movies?
Tolkien : We don't mind watching it if it has some action in it 
Mom : It is a comedy and even has Gandhiji in it
Tolkien :Who is the actor? He better be good
Mom: He is very good . His parents were award winning actors too
Elvish : That does not prove anything mom
Tolkien: Ok I googled him.He is no good ,he married three times
Elvish: Ok then he must be a good actor...I mean if he managed to marry three times 

Easy equation

Elvish : Mom I can't get this math Olympiad homework problem Mom .Let me try .5 brothers each born in a different year, share a gift of $100 according  to the following arrangement : Each boy,except the youngest gets $5  more than his next younger brother. How much does the youngest boy get? Now think about it .. Elvish: I did ...I think the dad was kinda unfair .He had the right number of kids he could have divided the money evenly .. just saying. An easier math problem to solve

Changing tunes

Packing and stacking gifts to give under the tree, 
Mom : The wonder of Christmas is the spirit of love and giving don't you think ? And the carols and singing !! 
Elvish : ( Humming I want a hippopotamus .. ) 
Mom : Sing aloud !! I will join you while we pack 
Elvish : This song you can sing if you are young or old ...just change it a little bit 

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll
No dinky tinker toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

After a many many years when the mind is slowly slipping away

I want a hippo campus for Christmas
Only a hippo campus will do
Don’t want a lot
Just to find my dentures
And to tell what went in my stew 

Indian festivals 101

Mom : What do you make for Diwali ? 
Elvish : Pongal ! 
Mom : What !! Then what do you make for Pongal ? 
Elvish : Chutney ! 

Art of Living

Elvish: Remember we talked about setting goals and having dreams.
Mom : Yes ,so did you ?
Elvish : Yes...so I talked to my friends about it in recess,you know the art of living kinda stuff 
Mom : Did you guys come up with some great things to shoot for then ?
Elvish : Well at the end of it I realised what I wanted to make of my life 
Mom : What will you make of your life?
Elvish : A masterpiece mom ...Live life artfully ! Get it !!
<Explosive laughter>
sheesh ! 

Fair share

Elvish : Mom I can't get this math olympiad homework problem Mom .Let me try . 5 brothers each born in a different year, share a gift of $100 according to the following arrangement : each boy,except the youngest gets $5 more than his next younger brother. How much does the youngest boy get? Now think about it .. Elvish: I did ...I think the dad was kinda unfair .He had the right number of kids he could have divided the money evenly .. just saying. An easier math problem to solve

Grammatically correct mathematics

Mom : With your schedule so intense now, I hope you are keeping up with your classwork and making sure your grades are not affected
Tolkien : Yes, so far my grades are doing fine. 
Mom : Remember don't wait until things get really unsettled to ask for help,if you need help from your teacher be proactive and plan for your quizzes
Tolkien : I know I learnt my lesson last year . Remember that really bad grade I got in a quiz?
Mom : Yes better not to repeat that kid , just be watchful
Tolkien : Yes I am ...except sometimes my answers in Algebra are right but the questions are wrong .
Mom : Now that is not possible.
Tolkien : Yes it is !! Sometimes the questions are so grammatically incorrect , that it doesn't even make sense. Like Algebra wasn't abstract enough to figure out