Animal husbandry

Reading something out of a junk mail newspaper
Elvish : Animal husbandry ?? Is this the study of taming your husband who is an animal ???

Should I let the cat out of the bag and let him know his day will come ?? 

Mundane football

Driving by a football practice at a neighborhood parker
Tolkien : There are only boys in the team
Elvish : Yes I think only boys play football
Tolkien : That’s not true ! Is it mom ? Girls can play any sports boys can.
Elvish : Not football I think.
Tolkien :Why ?
Elvish : I don’t know ..may be they will worry about their hair or I don’t think they can agree on the same color for the uniform shirts !!

The dude’s got a point here

Masterpieces

Tolkien : what kind of art do you think your paintings are ?

Mom : mmm not sure..I would say "masterpieces "

Tolkien : Really !! Why ?

Mom : I don't think I can duplicate them

Taking a ride

Mom : so do you want to take your bike to your friend's house? 

Elvish : No I prefer a ride in your car.

Sense of humor

Elvish : I understand now why we should have a good sense of humor?

Mom : why?

Elvish : Because laughing alone would make you look silly

Fashion Smashion

Tolkien: Mom, what do you consider fashion ? 

Mom : you mean personally ?

Tolkien : yes, what is your style ?

Mom : If it is not wrinkled.. Wear it, if there are no stains.. Wear it.If it doesn't smell...wear it 

Tolkien : that isn't style..when did you pick up this sense of fashion ?

Mom : ten years ago..when you were born ! I have never looked back since

Natural talent

Mom : Why didn’t you finish your lunch today?  Isn’t it harder for you to think of an excuse rather than eat your lunch ?

Elvish : No ,I am a natural at it .

Genius has limitations

Mom : You got to try harder to do better
Elvish : Sorry ! I have my limitations

He takes Einstein very seriously, genius has its limitations ! 

Growing up is not mandatory

Elvish : How long will it take me to be a grown up like Dad ?
Mom : It is going to take awhile. You have to finish Elementary,Jr High, then High school , college and then you will have to find a good job ?
Elvish : Is that all ?
Mom : Well.. After that you will have your own home and family . Doesn't that sound exciting ?
Elvish : mmmm ...I think I will stick to being a kid,growing up sounds like a lot of work ! 

Veggie tales

Mom: Please make sure everything is gone from your plate

Elvish : Can you elaborate on "everything"?

Mom: I mean all the veggies too

Elvish : May I be excused? 

Mom: Not until you are done

Elvish: I asked politely !

Mom: Atleast eat those carrots

Elvish : Is it  okay if I can call for " end of conversation"?

Elastic girl

Mom: what do you think I am?
Elvish : fantastic,artistic and elastic !! 

Identity crisis

Mom :So which superhero are you ?
Elvish : I would say I am a ninja turtle today
Mom : But yesterday you were one of the Avengers
Elvish : Yes the day before I was a power ranger
Mom :So can't  you decide ?
Elvish : I simply can't.I think  I am going through an identity crisis

Now,that explains everything . Today we may play spies or if I am lucky we may still be one of the Ninjas  

Follow your heart

Mom : Are you really sure this is what you want ?
Elvish : yes I am sure
Mom : There are better ways to use this money
Elvish :Yes I am sure, but a heart really wants what a heart really wants 

No argument there 

Measure of success

Mom: Go get the worksheet done and mark any you have trouble with a star and we will work on it together later .

Elvish back in just a few minutes

Elvish :I am done !

Mom :Wow ! that was quick

Elvish :Was it ?

Mom : But you marked most of them with a star ?

Elvish : Yes I made astronomical success , I saw stars in most of them

The difference is day or night

Elvish : Mom how many hrs in day ? 

Mom : 24 hrs

Elvish : so how many in a night ? 

Ta dah stumped again :) 

Thinking is overrated

Mom: So guys , what would you like to do this weekend ?
Tolkien : Let us chill out
Elvish :  ya let us chill out.Let us try not to do anything with thinking ,atleast not on purpose.
After a couple of wild weekends, I am going to agree with them.

M for Multitasking and Mom

Elvish : Why does the Indian goddess have  so many hands and heads?
Tolkien :She is the universal mother .She has to multitask a lot

It is the thought that counts

Mom : So is there something cooking for Mother’s day ?

Elvish : Yes it is a surprise

Mom : Really ?So you knew it is Mother’s day on Sunday ?

Elvish : No if I remember on Sunday,then it will be a surprise .It is the thought  that counts .

In quick defense of what pursued , he said the school is hosting an event and I should try and make it on Monday 

Staying afloat

Mom : how was swim class?
Tolkien : Great !
Mom : are you close to ringing the bell?
Tolkien : yes kind of.
Mom : what about you?
Elvish : well..I don't think I am close.
Mom : but why?
Elvish :I can't float on my back without help.
Mom : why not ?
Elvish : I have too many problems to think about.. I sink wondering why I can't keep my belly button up.

Practice makes perfect

Mom : So grandma and grandpa are heading out this weekend

Tolkien : Oh!!Can't they just stay longer ?

Mom : Grandpa is a doctor and he still practices. He has a bunch of patients that are waiting for him

Elvish : What !! He is so grown up .He is still practicing?Shouldn’t he be having it right by now ?

Girl Pressure

Mom : So what is news at school ?

Elvish : Well Sara said I was her man

Mom : Really ?

Elvish : Yes Elsbeth says that too

Mom : So now you are all friends ?

Elvish : Yes they said I was their man and asked to shake on it.

Mom : So did you ?

Elvish : No I said it was too much pressure

J I am sooooooooo not looking forward to his teenage years.

Wormy tale

Mom: Rise and shine, it is 7 am

Tolkien: But it is Sunday

Mom: You know the early bird catches the worm

Elvish : We aren't birds and we don't like bugs on our menu either . 

Facebook status

Tolkien : Mom ,what are you working on ?

Mom : I thought I will do a special project to surprise dad. Our anniversary is coming up

Tolkien : You think Dad is working on something too

Mom : Guys forget dates . I bet he won’t remember our anniversary until the day before

Tolkien : I am sure that can be solved if he had facebook

Mom : Why ?

Tolkien : I saw a cartoon strip that showed a man updated his facebook status to Married as soon as he said “I do”.It shows up on his timeline.He has someplace to go check now and not forget.

Happy Ambition

Mom : What do you want me to when you grow up ,a scientist,sherrif or a doctor ?

Elvish : I just want to be “happy” !

Casually funny

Tolkien: But ...I feel awkward
Mom : Try to be more casual
Tolkien : hmmph it is easy to say
Elvish : Then just try being "casually awkward "